What I have been curious about and hence the encouragement of readers everywhere to respond, is what are the pillars of happiness that are global? What fundamentals are borderless? Regardless of your country of origin, no matter your background, race, gender, age, etc, what is it that can be guaranteed to raise your happiness if you work on them?

Surprisingly, it’s actually quite simple.

As I always do, I decided to get into the detail with this stuff and do my research! (you can never learn enough about personal development, wellbeing and happiness!)

So I went straight to the source… the Dalai Lama.

In his book “The Art of Happiness”, the Dalai Lama makes mention of 2 key sources of happiness:

1)     Gratitude

2)     Positive Environment (that you create through your behaviours)

Now, I thought this was great. And it is a great starting point. However, I think we can go a bit deeper (not that I’m saying the Dalai Lama doesn’t know what he’s talking about! Quite the opposite, but I like to make sure we have all bases of happiness covered and not just the ‘ideal’ state in which I do sometimes believe the Dalai Lama represents).

DID YOU KNOW? Did you know that the name of this website came about because of the Dalai Lama’s book titled ‘The Art of Happiness’? Unfortunately, the title The Art of Happiness is trademarked, but The Start of Happiness is just even better!

Even you guys feel there are more secret ingredients to building happiness as mentioned in the comments of the last Ask the Reader post. In fact, I think you all summarised it quite nicely!

What do you guys believe is the number one factor for bringing happiness to your life? Let’s see:

Vincent: Gratitude.

Amy: Choose to be happy.

Trevor: The simple things. Gratitude.

Stellar: Clarity and purpose.

Andrea: Achievement, positivity and balance.

Chim: Living your passion.

Rich: Choose to be happy.

Mark: Achievement and fulfilment.

En En: Purpose.

Jen: Gratitude.

So who is right?

Well, to be honest, everyone is right!

Happiness is individualistic.

The answers to the above question proved this.

However, in saying that, can you see the themes? There are consistent themes across all answers, across all literature and across all scientific research.

In fact, I read over 30 articles, books and research papers and not one of them was the same. And to throw another happiness theory into the mix, I’m about to show you mine (which is an aggregated approach of many models). This, I believe, is much more simplistic.

I’ve tried to summarise these into a neat, little model for you. It’s true… I love models! (both kinds…). In fact, I’ve already developed a Happiness Model that explains how happiness is the start of a fantastic life, not the result of a fantastic life.

This new model goes to explain the fundamentals of happiness… that is, the 6 pillars of happiness.

The Six Pillars of Happiness

So let’s take a look at the 6 pillars of happiness.

If you are strong in each of these pillars then I would predict that you would rate yourself quite highly in your overall happiness levels. If you are not so strong in some of these pillars then I would predict that you might rate your happiness levels less. I would be keen to test this theory by hearing your comments.

The above model gives a snapshot of what I’ll take you through next. The thing to remember is that it is your choice to tweak one of the pillars and make a change. This is where it all starts… with the choice to be happy.

1) Values

Understanding your values and living and breathing them on a daily basis is the first pillar of happiness.

If you were to tell me your values I would be able to tell you who you are.

Your values define you. They are your guiding source for all of your decisions and all of your behaviour. If you have clarity of your values and you act in alignment with your values then you will be feel content, calm and satisfied. However, making decisions and behaving in a way that is not aligned to your values is a sure fire way of increasing stress and uneasiness.

We have previously explored how to elicit your values and I recommend you go through the process here.

2) Purpose

Having a clear understanding of what you want to achieve in your life and WHY is the second pillar of happiness.

As mentioned by a few of our readers, purpose can actually be the number one factor in increasing happiness to many people. This is why there is so much discussion on ‘finding your purpose in life’, which, by the way has a full module dedicated to just this in our Change Your Life program which I highly recommend.

Having purpose enables someone to set clearer goals and work towards something that has meaning. When you feel like you’re making an impact on this world you feel like your life has more meaning, leading to an increased sense of fulfilment.

3) Support

Your social network is the third pillar of happiness.

This has 2 areas within it. First, it includes the love and support you receive from those around you. Secondly, it includes the love and support you give to others.

Research continues to show that positive relationships are fundamental to happiness. I suspect that this will never change. However, the way that we develop these relationships may change significantly as we start to move more and more into a virtual world of relationships. Now, small ‘tribes’ are getting together all over the internet to support one another. In fact, The Start of Happiness already has its own tribe of a few thousand members! We’re all here together to support each other in living our best life possible. That’s why I love being part of this!

Interestingly, research on happiness suggests that supporting others can be more valuable to your overall wellbeing then just thinking for yourself. Can you imagine a world where everyone supported each other?

4) Health & Wellbeing

Your general health and wellbeing is the fourth pillar of happiness. Health and wellbeing encompasses both your physical health and your mental wellbeing. Having a positive attitude and an optimistic outlook on life can help in sustaining strong health and wellbeing.

As we’ve previously explored, your health can have an overall impact to your stress levels as well as affect your mood. It might be as simple as changing your diet that can have a huge impact to your overall wellbeing.

Let’s not forget sleep. Sleep plays an important part in your overall health, wellbeing and happiness. Again, widely researched, getting the right amount of sleep can have a huge impact on your level of happiness.

A lot of the research on the link between health & wellbeing and happiness is to do with the chemical reactions of what’s going on inside you.

The rule is simple… eat healthy, think healthy, be healthy, be happy!

5) Gratitude

Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. One of the most widely recognised skills for being happy. Rightly so, this is the next pillar of happiness.

Gratitude represents your ability to appreciate what you currently have in your life. It takes note of the small and simple things. The fact that you can read this right now is pretty amazing. There are billions of people on this planet that don’t have regular access to a computer, or even a computer at all. The fact that you can educate yourself so readily, so easily and at your own choice is pretty amazing. How about access to water? Your home? Your family? What about appreciating a nice warm cup of coffee in the middle of winter?

Being grateful is about living in the moment. It’s about living for now and enjoying every aspect of life. I’m not surprised that a number of you mentioned that being grateful was the number one factor for creating happiness in your life.

If you can start to worry less about the future, compare yourself less to others and start to create your own reality then you can be sure to raise your levels of happiness.

What are three things you can be grateful for right now?

6) Balance

The sixth pillar of happiness is balance. Everything in this world is good in moderation. There is Ying and there is Yang.

Ensuring that there is balance in your life can make a massive difference to your overall wellbeing.

If you are finding that you are working too much, perhaps even raking in some huge rewards, I would predict that your levels of happiness wont remain high or neutral for long as it starts to have a detrimental effect on some of the other fundamentals listed above.

Similarly, if you were not to be working at all, this might be great for a while, but again I would predict that your levels of happiness will not remain high or neutral for long as stagnation or a lack or purpose starts to kick in.

To help you identify how balanced you currently are in your life I recommend that you complete our Wheel of Life tool. This has to be one of my favourite tools. It takes just 5 minutes to complete!

Choice

Choice underpins the whole model.

As I mentioned upfront, your attitude, behaviours and feelings all begin with the simple choice you make in your mind. You need to make a concious decision to want to improve your life to then focus on taking action in the direction of your choice.

By tweaking each of the pillars in the model you might find that you can open up a greater world of happiness. Are there some pillars that need more attention in your life than others? If so, make the choice to work on them.

Your Thoughts?

I could go into so much more detail on each of the above areas, with strategies and techniques to help develop each element (and I will), however I’ll cover these in future posts.

But for now, what are your thoughts on the fundamentals of happiness? Do you think this is a clear and simple model for understanding different areas to help you increase your overall wellbeing? Do you think there is an additional element not covered?

I don’t envisage this to be my final version of this model. I feel it can be further enhanced, developed and simplified.

Thoughts?

Brendan

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The post How to be Happy – The Six Pillars of Happiness appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

Previously on The Start of Happiness we have shared the Happiness Manifesto, outlining the 43 Habits of Absolutely Happy People. We have also shared the Happiness Model, describing the linkage between happiness and success and what really comes first. These two articles are great foundations for understanding happiness and where it sits in relation to performance, success and overall wellbeing.

Today I am throwing the ball into your court and I, as well as the greater Start of Happiness community would love to hear from you! This is part of our new Ask the Reader series where you get to provide your thoughts and ideas on the subject matter and open it up for discussion.

So what is the topic that is open for discussion?

Well, it’s pretty straight-forward… it’s HAPPINESS!

Up until now, each week I have been providing you my insights from the personal and leadership development fields that I work within and show you how simple things can make a big difference in your life. But now I’d love to turn it around. I want to hear what works in your life.

Everyone on this planet has a different genetic makeup, different circumstances and different environment. Therefore what works for some of us may not work for all of us.

Because of this, I’m going to ask each of you a question. Whether you are from the USA, Canada, UK, Europe, South Africa, India, Singapore, Australia, wherever… we want to hear from you!

There’s no right or wrong answers, but the perspectives and thoughts of many will be invaluable for helping you come to your own conclusion.

Ok, so let’s get into it!

The question I am throwing out to you is:

‘What do you believe is the number one factor for bringing happiness to your life?’

As simple as that…

What makes you happy?

When you’re answering that question, think about how much time you actually spend doing that particular thing, whatever it may be. How can you bring more of this into your life?

But don’t keep this to yourself. The Start of Happiness is a growing community of like-minded individuals seeking personal excellence all over the world… and we’d love to hear from you!

Scroll down the page and share your answer in the comments below.

If you are reading this in your email, please click here to join the discussion and add your thoughts!

What you say might just make the difference to someone else on the other side of the world. This is seriously powerful.

Remember, you can change the world, one smile at a time

Let’s discuss!

Brendan

The post ASK THE READER: What Do You Believe is the Number One Factor for Bringing Happiness to Your Life? appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

“The greatest wealth is Health.”  ~Unknown

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There is no doubt that the state of your health has an overall impact to the state of your happiness.

As I sit here I’m loaded up on painkillers, antibiotics and anti-inflammatory drugs and I’m feeling quite ‘foggy’ in the head and generally feeling pretty average! Last Thursday I went into hospital to have tonsillectomy, septoplasty and bilateral turbinectomy. 3 big terms for simply getting your tonsils out and enhancing breathing ability through the nose!

One week in and the pain lingers on. The surgery has been long overdue as I had chronic tonsillitis back in 2005 and have had difficulty breathing through my nose for my whole life, but better late than never I say! And I’m super-glad I’ve done it.

The health effects are prominent though and what better way to bring it all to life then to get someone in to talk about the science behind some of the straight-forward healthy lifestyle choices we should all be making.

I’d like to introduce you to Mans Denton who writes on wellness over at The Hacked Mind. As you all know, I love hard facts and science behind everything and that’s what Mans gets to bring to you today.

I can’t wait to be able to get back into the gym, start eating some fresh fruit and vegetables and start getting some painless sleep again! We all take it for granted but when it’s taken from you you really get to appreciate what this world offers in its simplicity.

Without further adieu, let me introduce you to Mans to take you through 3 Scientific Health Tips for Increasing Your Happiness. Take it away Mans!

Partaking in events or games that you love, spending time with loved ones, and pursuing your passions are all ways to increase your happiness, but none are the true start of happiness.

The basic building blocks of happiness lie in the biology and chemistry of the brain. Hormones and neurotransmitters govern your happiness levels from a scientific perspective and while your conscious thoughts and actions can alter how they interact with each other, your health decisions can be most important. Maintaining a healthy diet, exercise routine and relaxation practices can create balance your hormones and neurotransmitters helping to promote happiness in the brain at the most basic level.

1. Diet

As the age old saying goes – “you are what you eat” and this still certainly holds true… in fact, I don’t think it will ever change!

The most important factor in balancing hormones and neurotransmitters to promote happiness is the food that you eat. Hectic schedules, responsibilities, and stress make it difficult to maintain a good diet. Ironically, when you do not maintain a good diet, your level of stress increases and your happiness declines even further.

Many mood disorders, such as depression, are strongly linked to a lack of healthy fats. Omega-3 fatty acids, which can be found in eggs, fish, olive oil, coconut oil, and other foods, are incredibly important for your brain to stay healthy and function properly.

In contrast, eating too many refined carbohydrates and sugars result in higher serotonin levels in the brain, which offers a temporary burst of energy followed by a debilitating crash. Furthermore, the refined carbohydrates increase the level of cortisol in your body, which is a stress hormone. Elevated levels of cortisol will make it harder to relax and maintain a happy disposition.

Here are a few dietary changes that you can make in order to promote a healthy balance of hormones in your brain to ensure happiness on a basic level:

1. Reduce or remove refined sugar and carbohydrates from your diet. Get more carbohydrates from vegetables, such as sweet potatoes and fruits, rather than from bagels, pasta, and bread.

1. Eat the right kinds of fat. Grass-fed meat, eggs, fish, olive oil and coconut oil are all great sources of omega-3 fatty acids. Fried foods are full of unhealthy fats that will make your brain produce more stress hormones rather than happy hormones.

1. Get a variety of colors and types. Eating purple, orange, yellow, and green vegetables and fruits is a healthy way to receive all the different types of anti-oxidants that make your brain happy by removing toxins.

1. Eat darker chocolate. It is rich in anti-oxidants, but only at higher levels of dark chocolate. I eat 88% now, but you are probably safe with 70% and over.

1. Replace all beverages with more water. My younger sister becomes incredibly moody and unhappy when she does not drink enough water. Whether it is genetics or not, your body needs lots of water

2. Exercise

Your exercise and relaxation methods are also incredibly important for the balance of hormones and neurotransmitters in your brain and the happiness you experience as a result. When you exercise moderately, you will increase the level of dopamine in your brain, which is science for making you feel happier. You will also increase testosterone, which can increase your brain function and lead to feelings of euphoria as well.

However, exercising too much (such as triathlon or long distance cardiovascular exercise) can lead to excessive cortisol in the body, which promotes stress and decreases happiness. Therefore, it is a good idea to balance exercise by infrequently exercising very hard, taking plenty of rest, and walking as much as you can.

3. Relaxation

Relaxation is also an important part of fueling happiness within your brain and body. Whatever method you use to relax will help to reduce the cortisol levels in your body so that it has a better balance with the dopamine and other happy hormones. I prefer to perform meditation or mindfulness, which helps to calm down my nervous system. Here are a few ways to add relaxation to your day to balance the stressful and happy hormones:

1. Go for a walk outside. This will not only help you exercise, but also remove you from technology in order to relax.

1. Take frequent breaks to close your eyes and be mindful of your breath.

1. Go outside and play a game that you enjoy

1. Spend time with friends in a comfortable atmosphere

Finally, in order to ensure you are happy, you must get enough sleep. While the number of hours each person needs will vary, it is important to try to get around 7 – 8 hours a day. Getting enough sleep will decrease cortisol levels and ensure that you feel focused, alert, and happy for the entire day.

Fuel Your Happiness

Everything that you do has an effect on the hormones and neurotransmitters within your brain. Playing with your dog can make you happy, but that is because it increases dopamine production in the brain and reduces your cortisol. Understanding the basic biology and chemistry of your own brain can help you understand howto take care of your body. This will keep you one-step ahead when seeking happiness in your everyday life.

Mans Denton is a wellness blogger focused on achieving success and happiness through a healthy diet, exercise regimen, and meditation. He is also an entrepreneur, biohacker, and traveler. Check out his musings at The Hacked Mind.

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“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” ― Hans Selye

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If you want to learn how to manage stress, then this post is for you! Last week we delved into what is stress and why you might be experiencing it more than others. Now it’s time to get into some seriously epic strategies for helping you manage stress.

As this is such a big topic and affects every single one of us, this has become one epic post that outlines a number of strategies that actually work. In fact, it’s ended up being a huge 3,500 words! But don’t let this turn you off… this is the post on stress that needs to be read by everyone. Some of these strategies you might already know and others will hopefully shift your perspective on managing stress.

I want to open this up with a comment that was received on last week’s post. Trevor of A Call to Action mentioned that ‘stress is not something to be avoided… just something to be managed’.

This is exactly right. Trevor, you absolutely nailed it. Every single person on this planet experiences a degree of stress in their life. As we explored last week, a key factor in the levels of stress that you experience is related to the level of experience you have given a particular situation.

Knowing this, I bet you can imagine what one of the best ways of managing stress is… let me firm that up for you in a little bit.

But first, why should you manage your stress levels?

Why should you be managing your stress levels?

I quickly want to touch base on the need for managing stress. A couple of weeks ago I posted how there is scientific proof showing that ‘worry’ can actually be a healthy thing. Worrying can actually help us become more productive and most importantly it can help us to problem-solve. If you don’t worry, you wouldn’t have any problems to solve! And complacency is not as great as it may seem.

However, what I alluded to was the level of worry. Obviously, once worrying takes on a bigger emotional state it becomes stress and this does need to be managed.

You need to manage your stress levels to ensure you remain healthy – both emotionally and physically. Stress can lead to symptoms such as:

• Memory problems
• Inability to concentrate
• Negative thoughts
• Short temper
• Weight gain or loss
• Sleeping more or less
• Aches and pains
• Loss of sex drive
• Procrastination
• Increased usage of alcohol, drugs, cigarettes or other stimulus to help you relax
• Increased sense of isolation and feelings of loneliness
• Depression and general unhappiness
• … and more.

All of these symptoms can lead to higher blood pressure and strains on your body, reduced performance at work, worsened relationships and more. What does this all mean?

It’s quite simple.

Stress needs to be managed.

The thing is, a lot of people don’t know how to actually manage stress. The fact that you’re here now, reading this post already gives you an advantage.

You’re building your emotional intelligence – your ability to be able to understand yourself, your emotions and its impact on others. You’re also learning how to then recognise these emotions such as stress and put measures in place to reduce this feeling… well you haven’t got to this yet… but let’s get into it now!

How to Manage Stress in 17 Effective Ways

1. Identify the Source(s) of Stress in Your Life

The first thing you need to understand is ‘what are the sources of your stress?’  Is it your work? Is it a relationship? Is it that you drank too much? Is it a looming deadline? Is it uncertainty around the future?

Gaining clarity on the source of stress will then help you work out how to manage it. This is where you can pick any of the below strategies to eliminate the stress in your life.

2. Remove the Stress From Your Life

Are you able to remove the stress from your life or at least move away from it? Sometimes this can be difficult depending on the need of a given situation, however if you can remove the source of the stress then this is an obvious choice.

An example may be that a particular person stresses you out. If possible, avoid seeing them for a while until the dust settles or until you feel reasonable.

Another example may be working a side job while also working full-time. If you feel overwhelmed and that you are getting stressed due to the workload, it might be time to pull the plug, say no or at least have a break for a while from one of your areas of responsibility.

You often hear about how when someone stops doing a particular task that they have been doing for a while that it is a huge weight lifted off their shoulders. It just might be the best thing that you can do for yourself.

3. Know Yourself

This is simple when said but perhaps more difficult to put in to reality. But knowing yourself is fundamental for being able to understand your stressors and being able to manage them.

When I say know yourself, this is about understanding what makes you happy and what your values are. Your values should be dictating your priorities and if they’re not then this will most likely be a huge cause of stress for you.

Stop and reflect and make sure that the things that you are doing in your life are the things that you actually want to be doing in your life. If they’re not, then you need to ask yourself the question ‘why?’.

Knowing yourself and how you operate also helps you to understand what situations require what methods for reducing stress.

For example, I sometimes get stressed when I am public speaking however I have learned that deep breathing is an effective technique that works in this situation. Yet, on the other hand, if I’m stressed because of huge workload then I may need to use a combination of different stress management techniques, such as saying ‘no’ to people, exercising more or taking a holiday.

If you have taken the Change Your Life course then you’ll know some of the best strategies for finding what makes you happy and what you can do to focus on achieving success in your pursuits in life.

4. Just Do It!

This has got to be one of the most effective stress management techniques I do and it’s probably the most straight-forward.

Depending on what your stressor is, just face it head on!

For example, if I’m stressed about doing a particular task (eg presenting to the CEO) then the best way to manage is it to just get up there and do it! 99% of the time it is never as stressful as I expect it to be.

Similarly, again with high workloads you might find that you start to have memory problems or the inability to concentrate. One of the most effective strategies is to simply just knuckle down and go step-by-step through the process. It’s a matter of losing yourself in the moment and forgetting about the other thousand things you need to do.

Prioritise, get one thing done and then move to the next thing. Before you know it, you’ll be ticking off huge amounts of your ‘to-do’ list.

5. Accept the Things You Can’t Change

It’s time to get a little deep. Stress is often caused by outside influences such as the economy, society, a death in a family, business restructures and so forth.

Again, this strategy is easier said than done but it’s about accepting the things that you can’t change.

If the economy is broke, jobs are being lost and the financial markets are down there is no need to put blame on anyone or to even try change the situation. The best thing is to be able to accept the things you can’t change and work with what is in your locus of control.

Accepting the things that you can’t change is the first step in then being able to move forward with actions that are in your area of control.

6. Talk With Someone

An old, tried and tested method of managing stress is to simply talk with someone. We are all human beings and we all have emotional needs. We also all have the desire to help one another and when you need it most, don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.

Having another perspective on a given situation might completely change the way that you look at it. This could potentially be the best thing you can do for managing stress.

For example, when I was in the process of buying my first property I was quite stressed. It’s a huge amount of money and a huge commitment. However, simple talking to others about the situation was one of the best things I did. I was able to learn from those that have gone through the same process before.

We learn a lot through others. The more you learn about a given situation the more comfortable you become with it. You also have the benefit of testing out hypotheses and options for problem-solving or moving forward.

7. Ask Yourself ‘Will This Matter in 5 Years Time?’

I ask myself this question all the time when I’m stressed and I swear it is one of the most effective techniques for reducing your stress levels.

99% of the time what I’m stressed about will NOT matter in 5 years time. Upon realising this, it completely flips my perception of the given situation in a way that I can turn it around and actually have some fun with it.

For example, it might be meeting a deadline at work and to be able to provide the work at its highest quality will take me over the deadline. If I start to think ‘how on Earth am I going to get this done on time’ I simply ask myself the question ‘will this matter in 5 years time?’ If the answer is no, then I simply move forward and get it done to the highest quality possible given the timeframe.

This example also alludes to setting your own expectations. Setting your own high expectations can be great as it shows you want to be the best at what you do, but when the recipient does not need it at such a high level you’re potentially putting stress on yourself that you do not need to have.

8. Learn How to Say ‘No’

A huge cause of stress is for people not doing what they really want to do. On top of this, another huge cause of stress is simply doing too much!

Learning how to say no can combat this significantly and reduce your stress levels.

When you say no, you’re taking control of your life and your environment.

Intuitively we all have the desire to please others and hence it becomes difficult to say no. We also have our self-pride and if we are seen to be ‘not capable’ of taking more on then how will others perceive me?

Unfortunately this is not a healthy thing as it can lead to much greater stress.

In terms of techniques for this one, I recommend just giving it a go and seeing what the word ‘no’ can do for you.

9. Take Control of Your Environment

Your environment plays a crucial role in your overall wellbeing. Be it your home, your bedroom, your office or your community.

How do you feel when you’re in a crowded room with people rushing everywhere and lots of noise compared to when you’re lying in a park by yourself listening to the breeze go by?

When you take control of our environment you can start t take control of your stress levels. This can be done through better planning of your time, turning off the TV when you’re not watching it at night to create some ‘quiet’ time and even just closing your eyes for 30 seconds and enjoying the serenity.

There are loads of strategies available for taking control of your environment. The main thing is, ensure you make the choices.

10. Reward Yourself When You Get Something Done

Often when you get stressed its because you have too much to do or because you are fearful of the potential consequences of your actions.

Because of this, a great way of managing stress is to reward yourself after you finish something that was stressful.

For example, remember back in the uni/college days how everyone was stressed during exam periods? What did you do after you completed your final exam? Well, assuming you didn’t have  massive hangover I’m sure you felt a lot less stressed! Not only that, but I’m sure you would have rewarded yourself in some way, being it letting your hair down with a big night out or doing something that you have been putting off for a while due to exams. It shouldn’t be any different in other areas of your life.

But how can this manage stress while you’re going through the actual stressful period? It’s the anticipation of the reward that can help reduce your stress, keep you motivated and actually build excitement.

Another example of this is when someone books a holiday. They may have a busy few months ahead before the holiday but it’s the anticipation of it that can help manage stress during this time.

Start rewarding yourself for the things you do. It might be as small as getting yourself a coffee when you have completed a small task. You’re worth it!

11. Take a Micro Holiday

Leading on from the last point, taking a micro holiday can do a world of wonders for managing stress.

How to manage stress with a micro holiday and what does this actually mean? Its quite simple. A micro holiday is one where you are simply getting away or removing yourself from a stressor. It might be a day trip to the beach. It might be going for a bushwalk. Perhaps its even as simple as doing some gardening. The key thing is that you’re moving away from the stressor and allowing yourself to relax and regather your thoughts and feelings.

When you take your micro holidays, be sure that you’re not simply procrastinating. A micro holiday is purely for managing stress.

12. Spend Time With Those Closest to You

When you are stressed you might also have feelings of isolation and loneliness. One of the most effective strategies for reducing stress is to simply spend time with your friends and family.

When you’re spending time with those closest to you, you would normally be a pretty relaxed, calm and comfortable state. The other added benefit is that you can talk through your problem or situation with someone you trust and who can provide another perspective. Your friends and family are there to be able to support you through stressful periods. Don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need them. I’m sure you would return the favour. Working with others is much better than working alone.

13. Ensure You Have a Healthy Diet

Nutritional plays a role in stress (remember that our bodies can’t tell difference between different types of stress). This makes your diet crucial to your overall wellbeing, however it is so often overlooked by many.

As the saying goes – ‘you are what you eat’.

When you are stressed you might have a tendency to ‘not care’ about the good you eat. Perhaps you’re too busy and short on time and all you can find is that McDonalds burger. Don’t give in! This is not the time to be letting your diet go… it will only add to your stress and emotional state.

Continue to ensure you are eating your healthy variety of fruits and vegetables and minimise your fats, salts and sugars. It might just make the difference.

I previously wrote a piece on the Ultimate Guide to Healthy Eating which I highly recommend you check out.

14. Ensure You Continue to Exercise Regularly

Similar to dieting, exercise plays a huge part in your overall wellbeing. Along with boosting your immune system, getting fit and looking great, exercising is scientifically proven to reduce stress hormones such as cortisol and release endorphins that make you feel happier.

Even just one run, walk or swim can make a world of difference to your stress levels. Thinking about when you last did some exercise, how did you feel afterwards? Pretty good I bet! Make sure you get out there and continue to do it when you’re going through stressful periods.

I have been very busy myself recently and actually put off going to the gym for a few months. I started to feel ‘yucky’ about myself and I also noticed my stress levels were increasing due to increased workload and lack of exercise. I found it hard, but I ‘forced’ myself to make time for exercise in my busy schedule and boy did it make a huge difference! Not only did it help in managing my stress but it also helped in my overall confidence levels and personal wellbeing.

Exercise is proven to be one of the most effective means of managing stress. If you’re going to start somewhere, perhaps spending 20-40minutes now getting out there and doing some exercise might just be the right place.

15. Get Enough Sleep

Do you often have restless nights, tossing and turning in bed with a 1000 thoughts running through your head? You’re not alone and this may be due to stress.

The catch-22 with this is that stress can lead to sleepless nights which can then lead to tiredness, lower performance and greater stress the following day.

This is why it’s so important that you not only get a good amount of sleep each night but also good quality sleep.

Some quick tips for helping you get good quality sleep during stress periods are:

1. Write down your thoughts before going to sleep (but not just before)
2. Write down your plan for the following day before going to sleep (but not just before)
3. Don’t eat or drink any stimulating substances within 3hrs prior to sleep such as coffee, energy drinks or sugar
4. Remove technology from your bedroom. Phones and laptops are key distractors and can cause restless nights if you’re tempted to continuously ‘check’ on them
5. Make sure you have a good sleeping environment. I.e away from noise, comfortable bedding and ensure that you are warm enough.

Getting a great nights sleep can take away a lot of your stress and help you wake up fresh and reenergised.

16. Experience, Experience, Experience

In my previous article demonstrating how worrying is a good thing I mention how your experiences share your beliefs and therefore how you react both behaviourally and emotionally to certain situations. When it comes to stress, this is the same thing. Your past experiences will largely predict how stressed you will get in your future experiences. However, the good thing is is that you can manage your future stress by getting more experience currently (which in itself may be stressful).

For example, if you get highly stressed from public speaking you can manage your future stress of public speaking by actually doing more of it now. This works on the principle that the more you do of something the more you learn about it and the more comfortable you become with it. It is about expanding your comfort zone.

This may sound like you’re heightening your current stress levels to reduce your future stress levels, and this may be the case. However, if something needs to be done and you’re simply delaying the stressful situation then you might want to rethink. Again, the anticipation of the stressful situation will only create more stress in your life.

17. Take Control of Your Mind

When it comes down to it stress is a result of our experiences, values and beliefs. If you can take control of your thoughts then you can take control of your stress.

This is obviously easier said than done. However, by taking the time now and reading through this article you have already heightened your awareness of your own stress levels and you also now have some strategies front of mind that you can implement when needed. This is the first part of being able to control your thoughts and manage your stress.

Next Steps

This article can help change the lives of many of those around you. If the world was a less stressful place then the world would be a much happier place. I’d greatly appreciate it if you can do just one thing and that is to share this article with your friends by using one of the sharing buttons below. You might just give someone exactly what they need.

Here’s to an amazing life!

Brendan

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The post How to Manage Stress in 17 Effective Ways appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

“If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.” ― Śāntideva
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Last week’s post generated some great discussion about ‘worry’ being a good or bad thing. The great thing is it may have started to shift your perception of worry. And you know what? Feelings can be controlled, and this is no different for worry.

I’d like to share some new insights from last week’s comments, including:

• Time constraints can lead to a level of worry or stress that generates action and productivity. This is a positive side effect (thanks, Vincent and Trev).
• We are able to control our worry or stress levels and utilise it to our advantage (thanks, Amit and Steve)
• Humans have feelings for a reason and this is the same for worry and stress. There is a reason you feel like this, for protection or for action. You can use it to your advantage (thanks, Shawn and Steve)
• Being able to control your worry and use it for good can also generate a level of confidence (Thanks, Amit)

Today, however I’d like to take this conversation to the next phase of worry and look more closely at that word we all dread so much but perhaps feel on a daily basis. This word is so universal and can be so inhibiting that I’m going to spread this topic over two posts. What is that word?

STRESS.

P.S. Is this not the coolest image ever?

What Exactly is Stress?

I’ve been doing some research on stress and to my surprise I’ve discovered a whole new dimension to what it actually is. So, what is stress? It’s not as clear and simple as you might think.

On first inspection of what stress is, I discovered that it can be broken down into different types, including:

• Time stress (worrying about time or the lack thereof)
• Anticipatory stress (being concerned about the future)
• Situational stress (being in a scary situation you have no control over)
• Encounter stress (worrying about interacting with a certain person or group of people)

This is a common way of thinking about stress. It’s about an emotional state.

However, delving deeper into the topic I discovered that stress is not only limited to the emotional. This in itself is an important concept to understand when it comes to managing stress.

For instance, Paul Check in his book “How to Eat, Move and be Healthy” describes 6 different types of stress. These are:

1)      Physical Stress (eg hard workout, surgery bad posture)

2)      Nutrional Stress (eg eating processed foods, eating too much or too little, insufficient intake of fats, proteins or carbs).

3)      Chemical Stress (eg alchohol, drugs, medications, cleaning products, some beauty products).

4)      Emotional Stress (eg fear, worries, anxiety, not living your dream, dysfunctional relationships).

5)      Electromagnetic Stress (eg electrical towers, mobile phones)

6)      Thermal Stress (eg sunburn or hypothermal)

Now, when we think of stress we normally associate it with the ‘emotional’ state of stress, however it’s important to recognise the other forms of stress. Apparently your adrenals (the glands that produce our stress hormones) can’t tell the difference between the different types of stress.

What this basically means is that your body can’t actually tell the difference between an argument with your partner (emotional) and you forgetting to eat all day (nutritional) and you going for a 20km run (physical) and you lying on the beach all day without sunscreen (thermal).

This may seem all a little strange, however the above is important to note for when you are trying to MANAGE your stress levels. I’ll get to that in a bit.

Why Are Some People Impacted By Stress More Than Others?

Did you know that 90% of your beliefs and your programming are instilled in you before you are 9 years old?

This then has significant impact over the way that each of us deal with stress. It’s due to our prior experiences, and largely due to our experiences in our early years of life.

Let’s look at an example of 2 similar aged people dealing with the same experience and having different stress levels.

A 5 year old boy has a mother who when she sees a spider screams and runs and tells her son to watch out for the spider.

On the other hand, another 5 year old boy has a mother who has a pet spider and is really intrigued about what they can do and educates her son about the spider.

20 years down the track when these boys are now 25 years old, how do you think each person would react if they saw a spider in their room?

The stress levels of the two boys (now men) would be vastly different.

This is the same for other areas of stress in our lives.

For example, if you easily get stressed about public speaking, this would largely be due to your prior experiences (or lack of experience) in doing this. This is the same when you are completing an exam or going into a situation which you may not have been in before.

Simply put, the more you do something, the more comfortable you become with that object or experience. You start to develop neural pathways that can manage your emotional state due to prior experience.

To get a little technical, we perceive the world through our 5 senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste). These senses get filtered to our hypothalamus which is a part of our brain. If we perceive a stress, then this hypothalamus then communicates with our glands to release stress hormones.

What does this mean for you?

Your beliefs can control your levels of stress.

And how are beliefs formed? They are formed through your prior experiences.

Again, managing stress comes back to taking control of your mind and building your emotional intelligence. This is obviously easier said than done. But in my next post I’ll have some great techniques for you to help you manage your stress.

Next Week

Next week I’m going to share with you some of the best techniques that I personally use for managing stress.  But for now, how does stress form in your life? Do you feel the differences between the different types of stress? If you are currently facing stress, what situations are you in that creates this?

Knowing this is all part of building your emotional intelligence and your self-awareness… the building blocks of being able to manage your stress.

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Brendan

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The post What is Stress & Why You Might Experience it More Than Others appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

I got into a little bit of a fun debate the other day around worrying and stress, and whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. I thought it was an absolutely awesome discussion and I wanted to open it up to The Start of Happiness.

My friend was arguing that there is absolutely no benefit of feeling worried. And sure, research suggests that worry isn’t that great… it can cause stress, lead to heart attacks, breakdowns, panic attacks, sometimes you can’t think straight and it can potentially lead you to physically being ill. That’s a pretty long list of negative associations of stress! And I don’t disagree with these… so how can I possibly have argued on the contrary?

I may have been born differently to everyone else on this planet… but I swear I see worry (mostly) as a positive thing. I see stress as a positive thing. Worrying switches our brain on! It helps us to actually take a situation seriously. It helps us to think through different alternatives to a situation. It helps us plan for the future. It prepares us for what is ahead of us. Without worry, we would just be acting on impulse and dealing with horrifying consequences.

Obviously, the key separation here is the level of worry. It’s the need to reduce the level of worry and keep it at a positive level without it leading to psychological or physical harm. In my debate, I was suggesting my methods on how to see worry as a good thing and some strategies to reduce your level of worry, and I’ll come to these shortly. However, I wanted to do some research into the topic, firstly to confirm that I was born normal and that other people thought the same as me And secondly to see if there was actually any scientific proof behind the positive effects of worrying. What I found was exciting!

The Research

I came across this (http://www.cognitivetherapynyc.com/whyworry.pdf) awesome article from the Scientific American Mind journal, December 2009. It goes into the detail of worry and the consequences of worrying, but much to my delight it also describes some of the benefits. To cut to the chase, it summarises that worrying can be healthy, however over-worry, as expected, has its negative consequences.

The above article mentions that one of the first experts to suggest the potential benefits of worry was Psychologist Graham Davey of the University of Sussex in England. In a study performed in 1994, he concluded that worry can be constructive, helping to motivate individuals to take action, help people resolve problems and that it can actually reduce anxiety. Another study in 2005 by Psychologist Maya Tamir of Stanford University concluded that worrying can improve performance when working on a cognitively demanding task, such as a test or exam.

One study (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120412153018.htm) suggested that our worrying may actually have co-evolved with intelligence. It suggests that worrying can help us keep away from dangerous situations and has helped us to have higher survival rates.

The key thing I noticed going through all this research is the level of worry. Worry IS a good thing, but to a certain extent. Michel Dugas, a psychologist at Concordia University in Montreal, suggested that worry is like a bell-curve, where moderate levels can improve functioning and performance, but when excess worry occurs there would be a decline in performance.

I loved this quote from Christine Calmes, a postdoctoral fellow at the VA Capitol Mental Illness Research, Education and Clinical Center, Baltimore, who even suggests that those individuals that are more successful at life actually worry a little more…. To me, this sums up what I was debating the other day:

“It’s all about how people cope with the worry. If it’s incapacitating, then it’s not okay. But if worrying motivates people to go above and beyond—put in longer hours, attend to details that others may miss—then it’s a good thing.”

Tips to Ensure that Worrying Brings You Happiness

Reframe the Situation

One awesome technique that I always do is to completely reframe the whole situation. When I start to get worried or stressed, I simply look at it from the point of view that it’s actually helping me look at alternative ways of dealing with a situation, it’s helping me to plan for the future and it’s also heightening my awareness… because of this, I start thinking “HOW AWESOME IS WORRYING?!” and I try to worry more however the worry just seems to dissipate… ;D

Ask Yourself The Real Questions

The other thing I do when becoming worried or stressed, is simply ask the question “what’s the worst that can happen?” or “will this matter 5 years from now“? 99 times out of 100 it doesn’t. This again can reshape the whole situation and reduce your worry and stress levels.

Get Somebody Else to Ask You The Real Questions

If you can’t seem to talk it over yourself and reduce your worry, get another perspective! Talk to someone that you feel comfortable with and get their thoughts on the situation. You might find they start calling you ‘silly’ for worrying too much… this is a good thing! It simply means you shouldn’t be worrying. If it is worth the worry, another perspective will help you bounce around ideas and prepare you for what you need to do.

Book An Appointment With Your Worries

Treat your worries like a human being. Book an appointment with them in your diary for say, later that night for 30 minutes. Talk to your worries in that 30mins… deal with the worry by applying the above techniques, use that time to solve the problem. You might even find that by the time you get to your appointment you may realise that what you were worrying about during the day is actually not much of a worry anymore!

Take Yourself Out of the Situation (aka Micro Holiday)

If you’re stuck worrying about a particular thing, remove yourself from the situation completely. Holidays are the best example of this. When you’re on holiday, how often do you worry? What can you do in your day that acts as a Micro Holiday? Do something that you love and remove yourself from worry. When you revisit it, you might even find that the worry is not actually worth worrying about!

Do What You Love

Linked in with the above, do what makes you happy! If you’re doing something that you love, surely you can’t be worrying? Exercise is great for reducing anxiety, stress and worry. Why not give this a go?

Simply Confront Your Fear

If you’re worrying about a particular thing, person or situation, simply confront it! One of the best and fastest ways to get over worrying is to just take action and face your fear. You will probably find that the worry was not worth worrying about.

And My Favourite… Know When You’re Becoming a Super-Human

If you know when you’re worrying, then you will know when you are turning into a super-human with heightened awareness, a more advanced ability to think cognitively and know that your IQ levels are being raised (proven! http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/04/120412153018.htm ) . When you know this, you can unleash the super-human in you and turn your worry into a super-power

Here’s to living your amazing life!

Brendan

P.S. If you’re in Sydney this weekend, please feel free to join us for a ‘Party of Purpose‘ at the Glenmore down at The Rocks (http://www.theglenmore.com.au) from 11:30am. Some followers of Live Your Legend are throwing the party and it’s sure going to be an amazing group of passionate people… I’ll be there and I’d love to see you there! Come say hi!

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The post Don’t Worry, Be Happy! The Scientific Proof that Worrying is a Good Thing appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

“To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantage which gives a view over wide terrains of history, human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruits of many inquiries.”  - A C Grayling

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Next to my bed on my bedside table I have 7 books. Most of them are books related to personal development. The other few are business or finance related. I tend to read more non-fiction than I do a good novel. The reason being is I love to learn and apply proven strategies into my own life. The downside is that as a result I am not as creative (although The Start of Happiness has become a great way for me to explore and develop this!).

However, the truth is these books have been sitting on my bedside table for the last 2 years and for some of them I haven’t even read a page.

Whenever I come across a good book I put it in this pile, thinking to myself that “I have to read this at some point”. However, life gets in the way. The only time I used to read was on holidays.

Something has changed in my life. I have now read six books this year and we’re only a few months in. I’m feeling more motivated, confident and in-charge of my life than I have ever felt before. There’s just something about reading that draws you in. It gets your mind flowing. It does actually get your creative juices flowing. It helps you to take action which is the critical piece of the life puzzle.

Why has all this changed all of a sudden?

A beautiful thing has happened.

I now catch public transport.

In fact, my productivity levels have gone through the roof since I’ve started catching public transport. I’m currently sitting on the train as we speak heading over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and I’ve already typed 300 words of this post. This is a different day for me however, as normally I read.

The six books I have read are:

• The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team (by Patrick M Lencioni)
• The Seven Secrets to Wealth (by John Fitzgerald)
• The Art of Possibility (by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander)
• The Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins)
• Screw It, Let’s Do It (by Richard Branson)
• Catching Fire (by Suzanne Collins)

To be able to read six books in just a few months and at no extra disadvantage to the use of my time feels great. Now, I think I’ll save the topic of productivity for another week, but my juices are flowing right now as a result of reading and I just need to get the message out to you that reading is amazingly awesome.

What has motivated me about the 6 books I have read? Let’s explore:

Book #1: The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team

The first book I read this year was The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. This book is an amazing read for anyone that is looking at building a team, be it managers in business, coaches in sports teams, teachers in school and even ‘family teams’.

To put this into context of how I have applied the learnings from this book into my own life, I’ll let you in on some details on my own life and my own team.

As the Area Talent Manager for Australasia in a well-known multinational company, I am responsible for all leadership, training and development, performance management, reward & recognition and motivation tools, team building tools, coaching and mentoring framework, employer branding, culture and wellbeing strategies and more. This is mostly part of implementing an effective talent (people) attraction and retention strategy. I am responsible for the markets of Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Fiji, Samoa and the Solomon Islands.

Now, this is a LOT to cover, and all I have is 3 people in my team. Working as a team and being as effective and efficient as possible is critical to our success.

The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team identifies 5 key areas of which if one is lacking, the team will be dysfunctional.

The book has shaped the way I conduct my meetings with my team as well as interact with each team member on a daily basis. As a result, we have been able to implement some big initiatives in the last couple of months that will see ongoing success and return on investment well into the future.

Check out the book here.

Book #2: The Seven Secrets to Wealth

The second book I have read this year is The Seven Secrets to Wealth by John Fitzgerald. This has to be the most straight-forward, simple book on property investing that I have ever read.

If you’re keen to learn the ins and outs of property investing, then I highly recommend this book. Note that the content and data is based primarily on the Australian property market.

But how has reading this book motivated me?

While reading this book, my mind was buzzing with ideas around how to make cashflow not only in property but also from other sources. It motivated me to attend a couple of seminars and look more deeply into the property market. As a result, I have recently seen a consultant who has mapped out a schedule for property investing for me. Whether or not I start doing it is another question… but you never get results if you never take action!

On top of this, it reinforced the fact that wealth is not built through working as an employee in a company. It has motivated me and inspired me to look into alternative sources of income to ensure I retire happy, healthy and wealthy.

Book #3: The Art of Possibility

Ok, I’m going to admit. This was the least favourite of my books that I have read this year.

After hearing some great reviews of this book and with a title that just screams out something that I’d be excited in, I was overly disappointed.

The book was a lot more ‘technical’ than I expected, digging quite deeply into one’s conscious. The other thing that I didn’t enjoy were the examples provided. The authors are part of a world-class orchestra and all of their examples revolve around this. Simply put, I couldn’t relate to this book.

In saying that, I’m glad I gave the book a shot. However because of my low levels of engagement it did not motivate me to take action in my life.

What I learned from reading a disappointing, low-engaging book like this is that if you’re not feeling engaged while reading, then don’t read it! You need to feel excited and energized but what you’re reading. If you’re doing this, then you know you have found something that you are passionate about and want to actually apply the principles into your own life.

Hopefully you’re somewhat energized and excited while reading this

Keep in mind, this is purely my opinion on this book and as per other reviews I’m sure you might be able to get a lot from this. Don’t just dismiss this book because of my feedback, there are loads of positive reviews on this book. The key message I want to get across is to find another book if you’re not feeling engaged, motivated or inspired by it… I did, and it helped me regain that excitement, being book number four.

Check out the book here.

Book #4: The Hunger Games

This book didn’t provide the same level as motivation as a couple of the other books, however it absolutely captured my imagination. And imagination is so important when it comes to being able to look for opportunities and create success in your life.

While reading this book, it was one of the highlights of my day. I was absolutely engaged every time I read The Hunger Games and I would eagerly await my next train trip so I could continue reading.

The Hunger Games created more happiness in my life. Reading the book was great, but so was the anticipation. Anticipation is half the value of happiness. When you anticipate something with excitement you are happy and motivated during this time.

Reading ‘The Hunger Games’ proved this to me.

Ever read a book where you can’t put it down? This is exactly how I felt reading this book. This is fantastic. It creates energy. It creates positively. It fosters your imagination and it gets your juices flowing. This is what reading is all about!

Check out the book here.

Book #5: Screw It, Let’s Do It

This has by far been the most enjoyable read for me this year. Richard Branson has had a life like no other. It’s absolutely extraordinary and such an interesting read. His business ideas and his success are based on such an optimism and positive outlook like I have never heard of.

This book has been a major catalyst for me in exploring business opportunities and taking action. More importantly, it has heavily reinforced the fact that you have to be having fun in whatever it is that you do. If you’re not waking up super-excited and passionate about what you’re doing every day then you need to make a change.

Richard Branson did this on a number of occasions. When you’re passionate and interested in something you are also much more likely to succeed. Branson represents the epitome of demonstrating this.

I now have a plan in place to make some huge life changes and this book has been a big confirming factor for me. More on these big life changes shortly

Check out the book here.

Book #6 Catching Fire (Part Two of the Hunger Games)

The second part of the Hunger Games is just as good as the first. Again, it captured my imagination and helped build excitement, positivity and anticipation that led to more energy in my day.

I’m actually also half-way through the final book in the Hunger Games trilogy and I’m absolutely loving it! Will be done with book #7 shortly

Check out the book here.

What Are You Reading?

What are you currently reading?

Are you getting motivated, excited or energized by what you’re reading? If not, then ask yourself why are you reading it? Explore new books and find what truly excites you. You will not only learn some new things, but you might just uncover a hidden passion or interest of yours. Perhaps it might create the little bit of motivation you need.

Whatever you do, make sure you continue reading. And if you’re not reading a book at the moment, head to the local library and grab yourself an exciting read. You won’t regret it

What are you reading or what have you read that has motivated you to change something in your life?

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The post How Reading Can Motivate The Heck Out of You appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

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My last post on The Start of Happiness discussed how money can’t buy happiness, but happiness can get you money. I have also previously discussed 4 key strategies for turning your passion into a thriving lifestyle.

Today, I am super-excited to introduce you to Sarupa Shah who has been able to create a life of happiness through a simple change of perception and mindset. It’s deep… so take it away Sarupa!

I don’t know about you but I didn’t go into business to simply make ends meet. I went into business because I believed so passionately in wanting to change the world.

Something strange happened though in all my attempts to live and work my passions. Initially I always went from a job; earning really well, having excellent work/non-work boundaries to earning very little.

It was almost like I was embarrassed to broach or think about money when it came to my business. It seemed crude as well as the fact I just felt I had to be grateful for the pittance I allowed myself to earn. It was a martyr type of energy. Serving no-one really!

Is your money story wonky?

When I started out tinkering with my own business I started seeing healing clients at home and running a meditation evening once a week.

Looking back I have no idea where any clients came from as the internet wasn’t such a feature for my business and social media was not even a term.

I guess now I can see that was the power of manifestation and the law of attraction working. Although it wasn’t working that well as for the first few years of my attempts to break free from being employed to working in my own business I hardly made enough to survive.  I hot-stepped between the two and used paid employment to boost my income, give me a buffer and the ability to travel the world and attend training with some of the Hay House greats.

Of course I resented being in employment. It was bad, it was wrong. Yet I was desperately hopeless when it came to my business. Loved what I did but it was not going to sustain me the way it was panning out.

I buried my head in sand and believed that one magical day my spiritual connections and belief would make my business work.

I believed I must have been real bad in past lives and this was God/the universe’s way of making me pay back for my other lives misdemeanours.

The fact that I believed that made me feel like a fraud, about believing I could change the world or that I had anything of value to offer.

I just didn’t believe in me on so many levels yet on others I did.

I even told myself the world was not ready for me…

Yup it was getting that bad!

I had to build a bridge that took me away from this pattern.

Even in this desperation, confusion and if I am honest some ‘pig-headedness’  – one day I had to fess up to myself that the way it was, was simply not working.

I had to tell myself the truth.

I was making up nonsense and creating illusionary beliefs to justify why I was stuck and not enjoying ‘the’ abundance that I dreamt of and knew in my core as possible.

You will be pleased to know that luckily and thankfully it was never about anything other than me shifting my perception about me, business and money. In fact it ended up very easy to grow my business and bank balance, live the dream and do what I love in a way that remains authentic and expanding.

There was no God or Universal conspiracy!

After telling the truth to myself, I knew I had to take full responsibility for being successful and as a spiritual anorak I made a conscious choice to resolve this.

• I stopped making my ‘employment stints’ wrong or bad. Instead I made peace and accepted that it was the way it was and it was a gift to be able to bring in money. In embracing the wholeness of me I stopped making money bad and feeling like I was hot-stepping between two worlds, the world where my passions existed and the other material (aka corporate) world!

I will let you in on the divine joke; once you accept what you have been fighting to change rather than keep fighting it, the change you desire and long for comes easily and effortlessly!

• I stopped making learning to be creative my number one priority that was not the most important challenge. The task was to become business savvy with heart and I embraced healing my own money story which was of course wrapped up in my own self-worth story. What was fascinating for me and in truth this comes up even now when I go deeper on this healing journey is the fact that as a healer and channel I held a strong belief that in doing God’s work in this way I should transcend money because it was (a) man-made and (b) wrong to charge, it made me greedy and ungracious. Of course that was and is poppy cock!

Focussing on what you want to grow with a two pronged approach; heal while acting in alignment with the new patterns you are creating and building is a strong and powerful catalyst for change.

• I started to have more fun. I had let life become such a soap opera. It was a dual; I either was doing well in employment but hating it and myself for having to ‘go back’ or struggling while trying to get my business off the ground. There was no room for fun as I had forgotten how to have fun. I was fighting living, fighting joy and having an inner war because I thought I was a failure and a fraud.

If it’s not fun then make it fun or stop doing it and that includes worry, stress, criticism, judgement of self or others etc. because that is impacting on your ability to hold the light and attract the best life.

As I shared, I still live by these steps as old patterns that have been held, maybe carved into ones soul, can have a habit of resurfacing and each time I go deeper the outcomes and results are more profound and exciting. You know the saying dive deep to reach high…?

How are you taking responsibility without blame for transforming an area of your life or business?

Sarupa Shah is an award winning, celebrities Soul Agent and the owner and founder of The Soul Agency. The Soul Agency works with entrepreneurs and leaders across the globe who want to put soul and spirit back to where it matters and create a legacy of love for the planet while living with unlimited abundance. Her particular passion is to show women how to heal their relationship with money and get on with changing the world!

To learn more visit www.sarupashah.com or www.thesoulagentblog.com

The post How to Build The Bridge To Your Dreams by Changing Your Mindset appeared first on The Start of Happiness.

Money can provide opportunities for us like never before. However, when we do end up with a higher income, why is it then that happiness is not necessarily a result?

The fact that we know that money can’t buy happiness doesn’t seem to help. Most people continue to have the desire to create a higher income.

I wanted to flip the notion that money doesn’t buy happiness on its head, and show you how happiness can lead to more cash in your hand.

And it’s really quite simple… let’s take a look.

Money CAN Buy You Happiness

Money can lead to happiness.

With money, you have more options. You have more choice in what you can do with your time and energy. When you are out for dinner, you can decide to go to the super-expensive restaurant and pick the most expensive meal without feeling guilty. When you are buying a new car, you are able to get the one that you have always dreamed of – brand new, in black and with all the bells and whistles you have ever dreamed of. When you need a break, why not go on that holiday to Fiji that you have always been dreaming? You have the money.

Spending money on more expensive items now is simply a form of short-term, instant gratification. Longer-term, delayed gratification can result in greater happiness.

Although I am 28 and do not have any children yet, I prefer not to spend my days blowing my cash, having expensive nights out and going on exhaustive long holidays as many others my age like to do. You’re probably asking ‘why’ as normally I talk about doing what you love and doing it more often. That is true, however I also talk a lot about having a plan in place and delaying gratification to create sustained happiness.

What makes me happy is actually knowing that I am building a life where I can support my wife and my children in the future. What makes me happy is knowing that I will be able to retire, financially sound so I can spend my old-age worry-free and enjoying the experience of watching my grandchildren grow.

It’s perceived by many that more money can help in creating this life. However, there is interesting research that has showed otherwise.

The Evidence that More Money Does NOT Lead to Increased Happiness.

Known as the world’s most influential living psychologist, Daniel Kahneman during his TED talk in 2010 makes note of studies that have shown that earning less than $60,000USD per year can have a significant effect on your happiness levels. Simply put (and apologies if this offends anyone), the less you earn under this, the more unhappy you will be. However, when it comes to earning more than $60,000USD per year, Daniel Kahneman notes that it is the flattest line he has ever seen. There is absolutely no correlation between more income and more happiness.

Here’s a little graph to show you a rough guide to what this would look like.

This is obviously a very generalised example, but it helps to convey the message. I highly recommend that you watch Daniel Kahneman’s TED talk. It has been viewed 1.3 million times at the time of writing this and explains some amazing concepts around experiences versus memories and its effect on our happiness.

Simply put, money can’t buy happiness. So why do we all strive for higher incomes when psychological studies have proven that income has little effect on happiness levels? We all have that perception that ‘I will be happier if I just had that little bit more’.

Let’s flip this concept around on its head.

How Happiness Can Help You Generate More Money

Money can’t buy you happiness… but happiness can get you more money!

A few months ago I shared with you the Happiness Model.

Quite simply, happiness leads to greater performance which can eventuate it greater rewards. Let’s refresh what the Happiness Model looks like.

The Happiness Model

Psychological studies have shown that greater happiness, wellbeing and positivity can lead to greater performance. This is through having a more optimistic and positive outlook as well as thinking with ‘clarity’.

In whatever activity you are undertaking, you are more likely to be successful when you are in this state of happiness and performing at a higher level. What does this bring? This then brings the rewards that you are after. This can be both monetary and non-monetary. Perhaps it is simple recognition from your manager at work and getting a pat on the back. Alternatively, it might lead to hitting your sales targets and achieving your bonus, or a greater prospect of getting a promotion.

The more sustained and consistent your happiness and positive outlook the greater performance and the more successful you will be in your pursuits.

In my role, I am responsible for the processes of developing and motivating the talent (people) in our workforce to ensure greater performance, productivity and overall bottom-line results. This is done through a number of methods such as:

• Providing a competitive salary
• Providing stretch targets linked to a bonus
• Creating a supportive and positive culture
• Providing a suite of benefits that cater to the individual needs of different employees
• But most importantly, providing meaningful work

If you’re coming to work engaged and excited each day then you’re going to be more productive and more successful in what it is that you’re doing.

This is no different in your personal life.

What do you spend your time doing? What are your hobbies and your interests? What excites you?

More often thvan not, the things that interest and excite you are the things that you are generally better at. This is not by chance. This is due to the fact that you’re in a more positive state of mind when you’re undertaking these activities.

In Summary

To summarise the points above, if you do what you love, you will generally perform better and you will reap the rewards. Not only will you be more wealthy both in monetary and non-monetary forms, you will also be living a more fulfilling and happy life.

You have to love what you do.

Get out into the world and enjoy what’s around… there is a world of opportunity!

Brendan

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Around this time, our flagship program ‘Change Your Life‘ was launched and in the past 2 months this has helped hundreds of people elicit their passions, set goals they will be actually work towards and achieve and has enabled them to find meaning in their lives. If you haven’t already, I highly encourage you to take action and check it out.

Another thing I mentioned was that videos were on the cards for this year. I’m pleased to say that last weekend I bought myself a new camera and you will be seeing me live in action in the coming weeks! I look forward to taking this to the next level with you. I’ve also got some exciting projects lined up here but I’ll let you in on this in the near future.

But today’s post links to another focus area for 2013. We want to bring in real life case studies and examples of people doing things that are changing their lives. I was super-excited when I heard from Orrin Hastings, a fellow Sydney-sider who writes about working less and living more at Rebreezer. He had just had a life-changing experience with some great outtakes to share.

I’m happy to introduce you to Orrin who will share his experience today. Take it away Orrin!

This is the story of how jumping from a plane gave me the courage to completely change my life direction… and perhaps not in the way you might imagine.

After finishing my studies, I stepped out to the other side really unsure about what direction I wanted to take with my life. I’d had a taste of a “real” job and I really wasn’t keen to get back into it. I wanted to try something new. Really, I wanted to head out and live internationally, support myself independently and live a happy life full of exciting and interesting things. But well… that’s a pretty terrifying concept. There’s so much that could go wrong and who knows where I’d end up?

Then Along Came Skydiving

It was around this time that my little sister suggested we take a skydiving course together. It was exactly what I was looking for: thrilling, interesting and a nice little distraction from my internal-life-direction-turmoil.

So I signed up.

It really was absolutely everything I’d hoped and much, much more. I’d been taken from entirely inexperienced to jumping solo with 15 skydives spread over a month. It was thrilling and exciting but there was something much more important which I took away from it: A realisation on building the courage and surety to take on risks and face challenges. Skydiving showed me importance of identifying the paths back to safety for any challenge.

Of course, I was nervous while jumping, that was coming from the thrill of doing something new and exhilarating but otherwise, I was filled with confidence and surety. I felt supremely confident in my return safety. From everything I’d heard and read on skydiving, I knew it was a very safe hobby. Parachute failure rates are tiny, there’s a machine-packed reserve backup parachute with an even lower failure rate and all parachutes are fitted with a device to automatically deploy if they see you’ve gone too low. And then the introductory course had drilled in all the safety routines.

Skydiving is incredibly safe.

Even if things went wrong, I was prepared to handle them. There are no unanswered what-if scenarios in skydiving. My way out is strapped to my back and the routines had been drilled into my brain. I was free to relax and enjoy the ride, knowing I’d be safe.

I was plunging myself into an exciting uncertainty but I was sure of my safety nets and of my way back to safety. And that was what it took to give me the courage and to make me feel confident while taking on such a big challenge.

Putting Other Risks in Perspective

And this holds true for all challenges in all areas of life. It’s the unasked and unanswered what-ifs that make a big decision or a new challenge scary. It’s the fear of the unknown and potentially bad consequences that keep us hesitating and stop us from getting started.

I looked at my other big “what I want to do” challenges and I started to define what the big bad what-if situations could be. Once I’d started defining what could go wrong, I was quickly able to see that there was almost always a really simple path straight back to safety.For every dramatic what-if scenario, my irrational and unfounded fears were quickly quelled.

Now whenever I see a new challenge I want to take on, I follow 4 step procedure: 

1. Work out different scenarios of what can go wrong
2. Define my safety nets: how will I get back to safety for these scenarios?
3. Realise how little actual risk is involved
4. Get out there, do it and enjoy it

So it was less than a month after finishing the skydiving course that I did what I’d been wanting to do since graduating. I packed my life into a small backpack and moved to Hamburg, Germany, planning to stay for 6 months and test my metal in setting up a new life in a foreign country.

This was a pretty terrifying endeavour but I’d put things into perspective. I’d organised my reserve parachutes, my paths back to safety and I knew that if something went wrong I’d be prepared to handle it. If everything went completely awry, I knew I’d be able to buy a ticket home on credit. In the meantime, there were adventures to be had and I’ll be damned if a little risk is going to stop me having them!

Identifying Your Safety Nets

It wasn’t until I had my safety nets waggled right under my eyes while skydiving that I was then able to start looking a little deeper at the other safety nets in the world around me.

We’re lucky enough to live in a world of countless safety nets.

There are too many things we fail to do because we fantasize about everything that could go wrong without properly defining it and putting it back into perspective.

In reality, we have the reserves and back ups to give us the peace of mind to step out into the world and make the most of it. There’s no need to throw yourself out of a plane (although I would highly recommend it…), just start taking a big step back from the challenges you want to take, define what can go wrong and then find your paths back to safety.

Once you know how you’ll recover from things going wrong, you’ll see how small those risks become and you’ll be able to get started.

Orrin Hastings writes about working less and living more at Rebreezer.

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